Monkey see Monkey Do, can Monkey UNDO?

I suppose the ape thing is strong in us humans after all...u know the part they say, 'monkey see, monkey do'. But the question, can the monkey UNdo?

I was washing the porch this morning when my neigbour who usually says hi suddenly rushed off as i was approaching the fence dividing us. My first reaction was a mix of chagrin and worry. What did I do? Did I say something?

But i tried to shrug it off as i try nowadays in a conscious attempt not to worry too much about stuff in life especially the imagined ones. Then as i was hanging out the laundry later, the thought hit me again at a subconscious level. Maybe my neighbour didnt like me anymore? Yea, it all is ridiculous but this is the mind foundation upon which my mind operates. Rejection, disappointment and not being good enough. The thought persisted for a short while to a point of obsession then i checked myself. No, this is not a normal thought! It is acquired and it is not me. Immediately I felt a veil of illusion fall away from my tortured mind and i felt light and free of the burden of such thoughts.

There is a blessing in disguise in my coming back where it all began. I really just how much a child could absorb her surroundings into her personality. In my case my primary influence had been my mother, aunts and uncles, especially the younger ones. I realise just how much i had picked on their likes and dislikes. Especially my youngest aunt. My preference of colors, music, movies, sense of humour and even fears is an embedding of what was originally hers. That includes my tendency to think like above. The more i spent time with her, the more i realise how much i had unconsciouly emulated her all my life. An i also realised further that she too had absorbed some characters from her older brothers and sisters. Like a chain reaction. It's amazing but it is true. Just how unwittingly we can pick up vibes from each other as human beings and how for a child's mind there is no right and wrong. Only we reach certain level of maturity, do we realise whats good or bad for us and then we need to find ways to unprogram the unwanted learnings. Like cleaning our backyard.

I realise now how crucial it is that we check and recheck ourselves when presenting ourselves to children. If we want this subconscious cycle of abuse to stop. Because it is going on in our present generation, the damages are beginning to show in many forms. Emotinal outbursts, complexes, fragile egos, rigid behaviours, rages, obsessive behaviours, eating disorders, anti social behaviours are just some of the forms of outlet for suppressed and abused psyche. Its not easy making the transition but it is very necessary.