Decoding life

I was standing outside the house this morning, waiting for my dogs to have their romp and in that faint early morning light, i had a strange moment. I saw the same early morning traffic whiz by but today it seemed different. It was almost for a second the world stood still for me and i was like the eye of the hurricane and everything else was rushing round and round in mad circles around me in a blur.

Yes, I was part of it all once, the rush, the hassle to get somewhere, get something done, as fast as you can for a day only had 24 hours and you have to survive, pay bills and get along. I did it coz everyone else did it. It was the only life i knew the rest of the world lived and i went thru the motions though somehow my heart was always heavy. Life was the wild web we have woven for ourselves.

Really, is life meant to be lived this way? In anxiety, full of self inflicted pressures, always in a hurry? To go where? For what? Why?

My aging mind is tired of keeping up to the farce. I guess it is sometime now ive let go, ive fallen out of race. I am on the sideline watching it go on forever. New faces, new circumstances but the problems remain the same. Hopeless, purposeless... a waste of precious time as humans on earth.

My dogs came tumbling back, ears flapping, wind in their furry tails, tongues hanging out happily, flushed from their delightful romps in the dewy bushes. No care. No concern. Just happy to be alive. Both jumped on me, the younger one tugging at my pyjamas as though wanting me to join along the fun. They couldnt see any reason for me to be unhappy about. They rolled on the ground, tugging each other's tails, playfully nipping about. They were totally into it, life's play. So simple as that. Wild abandonment and free. I was smiling.

Then i turned and walked back into the house and thought about the day ahead. The unnecessary issues waiting to be tackled. Issues of work and relationships that just won't even be there if only we humans learned one thing, to be free of ourselves.