If I said I always took the road less travelled, it probably be an understatement. My early influences, growing up with a spirited family who always did things the new way! Originality and individuality was deeply ingrained in me by the time i reached teenhood and started making choices. I was proud the way i was. It felt empowering.
The decision making itself was an easy process when you are young and living on impulse. But midway through this less travelled path, i realised the magnitude of what i had got myself into...it was not easy and it felt lonely sometimes .. but years later, it all began to unfold to me. I begin to see where I would have been if i had taken the other road. Probably a safer choice, but nevertheless would have 'killed me softly" me slowly inside. I was never meant to live life at default settings.
I am at peace today. And that for me, is my greatest achievement. When i moved back to my hometown 2 years ago, i dint realise i was coming a full circle. Life revealed itself to me here. It was as though i was finally handed down the answer sheet after fumbling with trick questions for years. It was for me an enlightenment.
And this only deepened the love i had for this little town. My sentiments, mostly my mom's actually, about it is deeply rooted. The misty mornings, the quiet life, the familiar faces.. there was just something about it that was a spiritual experience.
I would choose to grow old here if I could but it is not really a place of opportunities.. especially for a growing child like my daughter. Though she was happy to be, I was torn in many ways. As a parent i needed to make some decisions. On one hand, i have a safe, healthy environment for a child to grown but but on the other hand she was missing out on piano classes, dance classes, etc.. special skills that might add on to her survival some day. And she is just too creative and artistic to be wasted on boring school curiculum.
So the time has come again to bid farewell. It is strange but leaving it again feels like leaving your grandmother who welcome you home with open arms. It is almost heartwrenching.. as bad as i felt when i left it at 15 to school elsewhere.
Funny, even after living in KL for nearly 20 years, i never missed it a second when i left. But this little place, i just cant.. maybe my soul is connected to this place.. maybe my ancestors' spirit are still roaming here...we just can't explain why we are always connected to the place we spent most of our childhood in.
I have another 3 months to say my goodbyes to this place and i hope to make it a memorable time.
