Some days, when im in the right mood and feelin rather socially responsible (cough!), i contribute my opinionated thoughts on current issues on The Star newspaper's people's blog, www.blog.thestar.com.my. A few got shortlisted on blog, i even won the RM50 winner once and some get ignored.. maybe too sensitive or watever!
Here are a few.. the first one being today's.
While we are on the subject of healthy eating and healthy living.. lets not forget a healthy mind and healthy thoughts.
Recently i moved back to my hometown and im jus wondering, why did i even leave this town in the first place 20 years ago. It is a small town and we dont even hv a supermarket, more less a cinema, there is one cybercafe and it closes at 7pm.
But there is a beautiful lake in the middle of the town and people go for a quick jog before work. It helps that u can get to our office fr ur home without hvg to set aside time for traffic jams. Every evening u see the local field is packed with teenagers and adults alike playing football, basketball, badminton, sepak takraw. All the races, all levels mingle and hv a good time.
4 out of 5 people you meet smile at each other, everybody is somebody's neighbour. When people talk, u can see that there is trust and warmth in their eyes, a simplicity missing in city people. Neighbours at least say 'hi', 'how r u', 'wats cookin today". The doors and gates are kept open the whole day and no one is bothered.
One rainy afternoon i rushed home to see my neigbour had already taken in my laundry for me. And when u do get sick and sleep in, ur neigbour notices and asks whether u r feelin allright. And then u get handed herbs and homemade health concoctions for speedy recovery.
Here, people are asleep by 10pm, not even a mouse runs on the streets. By crack of the dawn, people are awake, housework done and everyone off to work. And by evening 6 everyone's home. Families have dinners together. Homecooked meals are a matter of pride. When i bought lunch for the first week i was back, concerned 'aunties' kept asking, 'whats wrong, why didnt u cook today?' (So only home 'cooked' meals for me, even if it is a tuna sandwich) . And after meals, u can hear ur neigbours for 5 houses down the road sitting together with their family members and enjoying a good chat. My other neighbour sings everytime he comes home. Imagine if he was caught up in Federal Highway peak hours!!
I guess, we can learn some healthy living fr small town people. Many of them, mind u, are actually richer in every way than those of us who chase life in the fast lane. I hv a rich, retired neigbour who can afford a bungalow in Bangsar but chooses to continue living in their two storey wooden house of 50 years, planting organic vegetables- u shud see their vegetable patches, only like a 2 mtr wide and a few meters long, yet they manage to do an impressive job and lead a humble life.
U see many old people, having some sort of comradeship goin on. 70, 80 year olds still cycle around town and we hv the lowest heart attack statistics. In the mornings, the ladies walk to the market, the men meet at coffee shops for the latest news.
And i was shocked that no one has heard of any snatch thefts here, for the first month i was back after 20 years in KL, i was holding on to my handbag everytime a motorbike passes by. I dint trust anyone turning up at my gate, thanks to all those con salespeople who managed to instill the fear into me.
But after nearly three months, im slowly learning to relax i guess. Ive learnt to say 'hi' again to a neighbour without wondering 'what does he want?'.
Life has become a lot simpler. I think all of u get what i mean.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Speaking for the Dogs..Dear dog abusers, dog haters, dog attack victims..authority.
Posted by: kalei gunasegeran
Come on....dogs are animals. Some of us love them coz they are the friendliest of all animals and they go that extra length to reciprocate your affection for them. They dont judge you even when you feed them craps. Sometime like children. Thats how they are wired. But they are animals, and their only defence is to bite. Wouldnt u 'bite' if someone throws a stick or stone at you or mock you or harass you?
Ive had dogs my whole life. Now I have two dogs in my home and i have a bunch of irresponsible teenagers living a few doors away who tease my dogs and act menacingly towards them when they think im not noticing. They take pains to come by my gates to harass my dogs. My dogs get upset but i calm them down as much as i can. But I dont like to imagine wat would happen one day if any of my dogs get to escape out the gate and get this pranksters. Now, would that make my dogs monsters or me, a bad dog owner. Would the local authoritiesl gallantly come out with some half past six rulings for the dogs and the owners while the offenders go scot free?? And dog shooters, God, have you seen how inhumanely they kill these strays. They shoot them and even before they are dead, they hook their tongues and drag them over the road and dump them in their truck. Who condones this?
When i hear stories of people getting attackd by a dog, my first question is, wat provoked the dog in the first place?? Because, there ALWAYS is a provocation. ALWAYS. Whether is a build-up or due to ignorance. But no one looks into that when they go ooooh ahhhh over the victim (no offence here) and everyone wants the dog shot. Does anyone question the victim? Perhaps we can all share what not to do the next time. But no, no questions asked. Right, they are animals, second class creatures. Shoot them.
Granted strays are wild but why the strays are out there in the first place. Some irresponsible human would have thrown them out due their selfish reasons and these dogs are animals....they need to survive. They get shooed wherever they go and some even throw hot water on them, kick them, and some 'well brought up' children/teenagers/adults think they make sitting ducks for their sick games. So these strays gets conditioned to the abuse and all they do the next time they see a human, is to protect themselves. And better still if we act like suspiciously when we approach them, it makes it all worse. They feel threatened. Try doing that to a tiger or lion or elephant or snake...whatever, they all react the same way. They are animals.
But we humans brought this animals from the wilds initially into our homes for our selfish reasons. We want a guard, a toy or a companion. But are we doing whatever it takes for them..food, protection, training, exercise and love.If you cant, then dont bother.
Stop pinpointing these animals like they are at fault and make generalisation about them and the dog owners. Bring out education. Parents need to educate their children about handling animals. Put a chapter in our syllabus to teach the next generation how to deal with animals. That makes for a caring society.
Meanwhile, all i think off these day is when im going to lose my tempers over the pranksters and give their parents a piece of my mind. Because ive had enough if i listen to anymore stories against animals.
And to the authorities, please do some survey before coming out with your blanket rulings. Be fair. Have a rule for animal harassment. Fine them, whatever. Just make it stop.
Comments:
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I totally agree with you. Dogs do not attack unless they are provoked or feel threatened. Why must the dogs be at fault when someone gets bitten? I never sympathise with people who get bitten by dogs coz i believe they must have done something to provoke the dogs in the first place. Tit for tat!
By fensarah, 8-Jun-2006
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SIGH.. dun 4get where u stay.. u think "they" will do something 4 this poor dogs??
By kikichow, 8-Jun-2006
•
This is very useful and meaningful! I mean we see on the newspaper that dogs (stray or not) bite children until they get hospitalized, and the fault will be fully blame to the dog or the owner. But think deeply, it may not always be the dog or the dog owner's fault. Think about it, if a person keep throwing stone or stick to the dog, the dog attack the person; if a child keep throwing stones, or rubber or whatever to your child, won't you hope that your child will fight back to protect him/herself? Animal harassment is new and i really doubt if Malaysia will practise it, especially when this law also protect dogs!
By mailtoloh, 8-Jun-2006
Ive had dogs my whole life. Now I have two dogs in my home and i have a bunch of irresponsible teenagers living a few doors away who tease my dogs and act menacingly towards them when they think im not noticing. They take pains to come by my gates to harass my dogs. My dogs get upset but i calm them down as much as i can. But I dont like to imagine wat would happen one day if any of my dogs get to escape out the gate and get this pranksters. Now, would that make my dogs monsters or me, a bad dog owner. Would the local authoritiesl gallantly come out with some half past six rulings for the dogs and the owners while the offenders go scot free?? And dog shooters, God, have you seen how inhumanely they kill these strays. They shoot them and even before they are dead, they hook their tongues and drag them over the road and dump them in their truck. Who condones this?
When i hear stories of people getting attackd by a dog, my first question is, wat provoked the dog in the first place?? Because, there ALWAYS is a provocation. ALWAYS. Whether is a build-up or due to ignorance. But no one looks into that when they go ooooh ahhhh over the victim (no offence here) and everyone wants the dog shot. Does anyone question the victim? Perhaps we can all share what not to do the next time. But no, no questions asked. Right, they are animals, second class creatures. Shoot them.
Granted strays are wild but why the strays are out there in the first place. Some irresponsible human would have thrown them out due their selfish reasons and these dogs are animals....they need to survive. They get shooed wherever they go and some even throw hot water on them, kick them, and some 'well brought up' children/teenagers/adults think they make sitting ducks for their sick games. So these strays gets conditioned to the abuse and all they do the next time they see a human, is to protect themselves. And better still if we act like suspiciously when we approach them, it makes it all worse. They feel threatened. Try doing that to a tiger or lion or elephant or snake...whatever, they all react the same way. They are animals.
But we humans brought this animals from the wilds initially into our homes for our selfish reasons. We want a guard, a toy or a companion. But are we doing whatever it takes for them..food, protection, training, exercise and love.If you cant, then dont bother.
Stop pinpointing these animals like they are at fault and make generalisation about them and the dog owners. Bring out education. Parents need to educate their children about handling animals. Put a chapter in our syllabus to teach the next generation how to deal with animals. That makes for a caring society.
Meanwhile, all i think off these day is when im going to lose my tempers over the pranksters and give their parents a piece of my mind. Because ive had enough if i listen to anymore stories against animals.
And to the authorities, please do some survey before coming out with your blanket rulings. Be fair. Have a rule for animal harassment. Fine them, whatever. Just make it stop.
Comments:
•
I totally agree with you. Dogs do not attack unless they are provoked or feel threatened. Why must the dogs be at fault when someone gets bitten? I never sympathise with people who get bitten by dogs coz i believe they must have done something to provoke the dogs in the first place. Tit for tat!
By fensarah, 8-Jun-2006
•
SIGH.. dun 4get where u stay.. u think "they" will do something 4 this poor dogs??
By kikichow, 8-Jun-2006
•
This is very useful and meaningful! I mean we see on the newspaper that dogs (stray or not) bite children until they get hospitalized, and the fault will be fully blame to the dog or the owner. But think deeply, it may not always be the dog or the dog owner's fault. Think about it, if a person keep throwing stone or stick to the dog, the dog attack the person; if a child keep throwing stones, or rubber or whatever to your child, won't you hope that your child will fight back to protect him/herself? Animal harassment is new and i really doubt if Malaysia will practise it, especially when this law also protect dogs!
By mailtoloh, 8-Jun-2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Children the Ultimate Givers
Posted by: kalei gunasegeran
My six year old daughter and i were at busy shopping mall on a very very busy Sat afternoon. Some promotional girls were walking around handing out balloons. By the time, my daughter reachd one, the balloons were given out. She was upset and just stood there. Then something happened. A young child, probably younger than her, who was trailing behind his family passd by my daugther, suddenly turned back,approached her,gave his balloon to her, smiled and just went off. I was just amazed. Only a child can be capable a pure act of kindness as that.
Comments:
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Your post is touching and sweet. Isn't it sad that it is the adults who will probably teach her all the bad attitutes and characters by showing bad examples. Finally turning this sweet little angel into a kiasu, selfish, greedy adult later in life. sigh.
By eltoro61, 21-May-2006
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If only children can govern/rule the world, it would have been an instant utopia. They are so pure and innocent, unlike us adults who are bigots and pure hippocrites. Children if left alone and not influence by adults will not know what religion, cultures and skin colors are all about. It is the adults who influenced them.Over the last 30 years or so, I believed Malaysians are more polarised than before and the situation is sad to say deteriorating, and why now with so much negatives news about racial imbalance, scholarships awards and jobs and usiness opportunities.
By microbserver, 22-May-2006
Kongsi Raya - with an apology
Posted by: kalei gunasegeran
Comments:
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A good post. Well thought out and delivered. I am sure many people thinks the way you do. Remember this whole farce about kongsi raya business was brought by a small narrow minded group of people. They are out for some cheap publicitiy. The best way to treat this kind of bigot is to ignore them. Remember, God did not create men, but MEN created God. Cheers.
By eltoro61, 21-Jun-2006
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Why do you need to be apologetic about 'idealistic' notions like sharing your joy with anyone who wants to share. You don't have to share if the other does not want it! Don't spoil your joy of celebrating your beliefs or bend over backwards to 'entertain' the miscreants of society be they lowly paid officials or 'blue-blooded officials'! People who are wrong will be proven wrong one way or another and the world becomes wiser for it, at least for a while, like Hitler's pronouncements in World War 2. Just don't take it lying down or when it is time for you to leave this world you regret your none actions!
By PlainManAB, 21-Jun-2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Toxic Love
Posted by: kaleiselvi71
Comments:
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I cant believe it!! You have just described my ex boyfriend EXACTLY! He does all of the things you mentioned, and youve really been a stepping stone for me to break away from him for ever! I was really thinking about him and how I 'miss' his abuse, and was on the verge of begging him for us to try again (for the 20th time)when you made me realise it is NOT me with the problem! He so made me think it was. Yet I ALWAYS have to do the making up and the getting back together, and boy, does he make me grovel, even though Ive done NOTHING WRONG! But not now, after reading this blog! I am worth more. I am better than him. I wont allow him to bring me down. And this time I will not soften. So many times, after not seeing him for a while, or seeing him with another 'victim' I long to be back with him - and I wondered WHY? Why, when he treats me like a queen one minute, and like dirt the next! I was the love of his life, so he said, so why did he treat me like dirt? Now I KNOW!! It's because he is not worthy of me and he was out of his depth, because I am smart, beautiful and intelligent and more talented than he can ever hope to be. I think he loves me and hates me at the same time, like I do him, but I only wanted to love him, and he has made me this way, but I am NOT damaged. It will take a much bigger person than this little wimp to make me like that, and that person has'nt even been born yet! I am beautiful, no matter what he says! His words cant bring me down (as the song goes) Thank you, whoever you are. You made me feel like ME again!
By loricaney, 9-Jul-2006
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Life in an unreal world..schizophrenia
Posted by: kalei gunasegeran
This is dedicated to some one I personally know, some one I truly love and admire who has been battling schizophrenia for nearly 30 years now. She is the most amazing lady and the sweetest human being I have every known. She has the prettiest, doll like features and when she smiled, it’s like a beam of sunshine. On her good days, she can say things that can make you laugh till your tummy aches. She’s wonderfully creative, she sings and draws beautifully. She is multilingual and can rattle on in any dialect when she’s herself. She takes the extra effort not to hurt anyone and she like to make people happy. That is what that is most sad. Most of the time, most of them who suffer from this condition are actually very sensitive, intelligent people who have the heart of gold. Why life tries them that way, one can never truly understand. Perhaps, it is their gentle nature that make them more susceptible to abuse, whether internal or external. I remember how it all started.
When she first entered puberty, she would have the fear of taking shower alone, going to certain spaces alone. Into mid-teen, there was small bouts of hysteria periodically where she claimed that she was being watched and ‘something’ trying to control her. This was the initial symptoms that unfortunately no one noticed. The fear that “something” else is in control of oneself. Sadly at that time, due to lack of exposure and awareness on the disease, even the doctors, yes and those around her where unable to identify this as a symptoms of the disease. Instead, disbelief, ridicule and pressure to ‘snap of out it’ are among the reactions she received. This unfortunately, only managed to worsen her condition. One of her close schoolmates intensified it by introducing the other world ‘element’ that she was being disturbed by disembodied ‘spirit’. She became obsessed with this idea and this further regressed as it fed on her illusion of control. She’d get so scared that she couldn’t even take her bath alone or stay behind locked doors. She couldn’t concentrate on her studies and her grades dropped. She went into depression and started bingeing. Her weight boomed and she got ridiculed in school and everywhere she went. To suppress the humiliation, she ate more. She felt everyone was against her. Her conditioned worsened more. So, the vicious cycle continued. By mid twenties, she was fully convinced she was being followed by a group of people, who lay tracking devices around her and set spies to attack her.
Nearly every month, according to her biorhythm, she would go into a heightened hysterical phase where she’d let out piercing screams and when we asked her why, she’d say she didn’t know. During this phase she would have this zoned out look on her face like she was helplessly lost within the deep crevasses of her own mind. She’d sit and stare blankly and if she was agitated, she’d act irrationally and give out aggressive outbursts. But whenever she slipped back into her normal self, she’d be ever cheerful, playing tricks on everyone around her and she adored animals to madness that she even trained chickens to do tricks. She was very talented.
She’d gush about her plans for her future, how she was going to achieve her music ambitions and how she’d like to find someone special and get married. Like any normal, young girl, she had her whole future planned out. Her own desires, her own ambitions in life.
By her late twenties, after nearly 15 year after the first onslaught of her condition, doctors finally diagnosed her as a schizophrenia and she was put on medication. Then she became numb and rather ‘distant’ from the outside world. She slept for long hours and she continued bingeing. She managed to work for a while with the help of medication. It suppressed her symptoms and life passed her by vaguely. But her illusions stayed.
By her late thirties, she lost her interest in her music, she lost her interest in her ambitions, in fact she lost her interest in everything. She lost her interest in life. She more or less resigned herself to her condition. She lost hope of ever coming out of it. She just withdrew. Even the occasional peeks of her normal self were no more there. She was only a medicated version of her delusional self. It was as though, we had lost her. Doctors tried many different medications on her in the hope of getting her better. Some gave her side effects like trembling lips, excessive body heat and drowsiness.
The medications are keeping some of her symptoms at bay but don’t seem to be curing her. They say people have been cured from schizophrenia but why its not happening to her, no one knows. Perhaps we may have to wait another 10 years before the latest of medical miracle decides to show itself on our shores. At present, mental conditions are not given enough exposure and public awareness is still very much in the dark.
In fact, the 'mental' stigma attached to it, is not helping those suffering from it. Support group and a caring society can make life a bit easier for them. We don’t know why these things happen to good people.
There is no greater suffering than living a life that’s meaningless, void of wonderful moments of life, ups and downs….of growing, of chasing dreams…..of experiencing normal joys of life. To be robbed of a chance to live one’s life is the worst possible nightmare for anyone. And no human being deserves that. Here’s to her, my aunt. I wish for her a day, when she will get up in one morning and realize that she is finally free. I wish for a day, her fears are gone and she’d find joy again in everything she loved before…to start painting, to start singing, to start living the wonderful future she wished for. I wish for her to fulfill her dreams and find love and make the remaining years of her life, a life well deserved, fully lived and brimming with joy and happiness. When will that day come?
Comments:
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You are absolutely right in saying that public awareness of this condition is not enough. Although the movie Beautiful Minds gave us a sense that there are people with this disorder, we tend to forget what we have seen and learnt from the movie itself. I have known people with schizophrenia and unfortunately, at that time, being young and unaware of the magnitude of this disorder, I too am guilty of branding such people as "crazy" or a "write off". Today, I know better. I hope that more exposure and light is shed into how to detect early symptoms, how families cope and how to manage people with such disorder within the home and work area. Remember, they hold jobs too and sometimes co-workers need to know how to work with them. You express a hope in your article that one day, your aunt will wake up and find herself free. Kalei, as hard it is for us to see her diminishing before our very own eyes, perhaps we can only think that maybe, just maybe she is happy where she is; because she has the support of you and the rest of your family. Perhaps in her mind, she knows that for now, she is safe even though that safety comes in a medicated state.
By mnair, 15-Jun-2006
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A very thoughtful post. Best wishes to your aunt.
By karlcheah, 15-Jun-2006
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You are absolutely right in saying that public awareness of this condition is not enough. Although the movie Beautiful Minds gave us a sense that there are people with this disorder, we tend to forget what we have seen and learnt from the movie itself. I have known people with schizophrenia and unfortunately, at that time, being young and unaware of the magnitude of this disorder, I too am guilty of branding such people as "crazy" or a "write off". Today, I know better. I hope that more exposure and light is shed into how to detect early symptoms, how families cope and how to manage people with such disorder within the home and work area. Remember, they hold jobs too and sometimes co-workers need to know how to work with them. You express a hope in your article that one day, your aunt will wake up and find herself free. Kalei, as hard it is for us to see her diminishing before our very own eyes, perhaps we can only think that maybe, just maybe she is happy where she is; because she has the support of you and the rest of your family. Perhaps in her mind, she knows that for now, she is safe even though that safety comes in a medicated state.
By mnair, 15-Jun-2006
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A very thoughtful post. Best wishes to your aunt.
By karlcheah, 15-Jun-2006
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