A beguiling family time..

It was a rather beguiling family time this year for Diwali. For the first time, i donned the chef's hat since mom's not feeling too well these days with creaking knees and those darned nerve problems.

I managed somehow to churn out some pretty decent versions of murukus, urundeys and cookies. Youngest aunt prepared some parathas for Diwali eve and i cooked up an oilless chicken paratal that thankfully, went down quiet well.
Next morning i had ready a hot and fiery chicken curry trying to make it like how grandma used to make (though im not sure whether i even got close) that we had with tosai and itli for breakfast ...and... lunch... and ....dinner...!

Got some fireworks cracking with the small ones and caught up with domestic state of affairs. Visited relatives near and far.. as we can go. Everyone who couldnt make it called to wish everyone else Diwali. And yes, some missed all the food..too bad. Let's plan it better next year. And i mustn't forget to take pictures. Time frozen in picture all tells a better story.

Everthing seemed pretty much the same but there was a change within me. Its funny how certain things that didnt matter too much when you are young seem so important later in life. I used to just drift through Diwalis and can't wait to get back to fast life in the city. But now its the total opposite.

I read somewhere a few days back, as one gets older some parts of the brain grows bigger, the frontal or some back portion, i cant remember. But yes, research shows it's responsible for deepening your understanding and your outlook towards life. Like they say, the older you get, the wiser you get...

Well, ive not seen my head growing to any sizeable proportion but yes, i do feel a paradigm shift. Im feeling feelings i never felt before. Of wanting to reach for my roots. Of wanting to reconnect. And understanding human nature becomes almost second nature... you can see why people say some things they say and do some things they do...and why they are what they are..and it seems easier to forgive and forget.

When i stepped foot into that old family house i grew up in, it felt like some part of me was coming round full circle. I sat down and counted and realised that since i stepped out of that house like 30 years ago, ive shifted places so many times that i never actually felt i belonged somewheree... I had been so restless for so long..searching for something i guess was actually in me all along. After changes after changes, im now ready to take root...where it all began... isn't life an irony sometimes?

Missed those misty, dewy mornings, cockerels crooing from every corner. Life moved slowly, days seemed longer and each face was somehow familiar. A feeling of being grounded, a sense of belonging beckoned.. memories were dear and near. And the future lay ahead waiting..

And this year Diwali was somehow a rememberance of its glorious past... that old-time togetherness as we sat, ate and chatted together. Only in me, i saw stuff i never saw before, understood certain things i never understood before... all differences and grievances became matters of less importance. All it mattered, we were together and having a jolly time. I realised all good things in life are not going to be forever and we'd better grab it while we can. Mom kept insisting she wont be around for long and i kept telling her i'll beat her to it, just to balance it up. Either way, life is just too short to be wasted in emotional baggages and tit for tats or trivialities.

I visited grandparents old house. It looked so forlorn now that they are gone. Except for my youngest aunt still living there, the rooms were empty, like a nest abandoned. Once brimming with life...now it lay in somewhat hopeless hope but i like to believe that it will one day stand tall again as testimony of a proud family heritage decades to come for our children's granchildren and so on.

The nights especially were deafeningly silent except for the creakings of wild insects in the rain drenched bushes...what was really missing were the symphony of my grandparents barotone and soprano snorings late at night, funny how it used to annoy us one time, now it felt like life's precious things. Is this how life is, everyone grows up to go away and you have to make sense of whatever that's left.

But it need not be that way at all. Open hearts, embracing arms, forgiveness and a kind word or two, can keep good things going for a long time. After all isnt that all it is about, Diwali, the celebration of the good things in life! Reminds me of that Beatles number, all you need is love..all you need is love, love is all u need love is all u need... and i'd add, it won't cost you anything!