Lazy late afternoons spent talking to plants and imaginary friend called Ina and me being Ita, the secondary one. Ina was better than me, more complete and Ita looked up to her. Strange, i wonder why i had that alter ego.
My shoulder to cry on were the many dogs that grew up with me and passed on. Id say they were my guardian angels, always around to watch over me when i spent hours in the wild, totally oblivous. They were source of unconditional love, a touch of compassionate universe embodied in furry warmth with a wet nose. It was carefree, fear-free childhood abandonment.
Rainy days had me sneaking out of the house trailing clear cool little streams over brilliantly green grass. And ah, the sheer delight in finding natural water sources and little fishes in ponds. Hours passed on that way, nurtured by nature. I'd remember going home everyday with some mud or stain on my clothes, much to my mom's chagrin. No matter how much admonishment would stop me from going back the next day to the arms of loving nature. To think now of how many risks were involved in a child roaming the woods alone those days long ago, i can only say nature protected me and kept me safe and today i give my thanks.
When i started going to school, id wake up and hv my bath and stand at our bedroom window facing east and watch the sun rise slowly over the hills. It was a daily wonder for me, something i truly missed when we had to move later on.
When i learnt to cycle, id breeze through morning dew downhill to school, arriving at the gates, white shoe shine runny and nose freezing. Evenings were spent cycling as far as i dared to go before night fell and crickeets called.
Then at 9, the equation changed suddenly. Life no longer was of innocence. Was robbed of me. I can hardly remember the years after that. Like a missing gap in time, some things are better left not remembered i guess, it is again nature protecting me in the only way it knows best.
Teen years raced by in a blur. Unhappiness, unfulfillments, again not much worth remembering except for the crushes and puppy loves. Early twenties, the equation didnt change much, ups and downs. Severe knocks and dents. By the time 30s came, my soul was broken, very tired. And then something happened.
They say went you hit bottom, you will somehow bounce back. What a bounce back! The nature of human spirit. Slowly steadily, things turned around. The equation was balancing up. Today, life is a simple equation, basic, agrees with me. I was asked dont i have any big ambition left. Uh huh, i never really did actually. I just wanted a slow cruise, a pleasant one through life, no biggies for me.
Im grateful today, because my life was always blessed, regardless of my trying times, something always carried me through. Or someone. Love. From a higher place. I say higher because only a higher place is capable of such selfless love, compassion and strength.
Call it whatever we want, God, Universe, Source ... im grateful that as the days go by, I have been blessed enough to witness and experience that LOVE.
1 comment:
Beautiful writing, again.
Post a Comment