The day started normal enough. As usual, i was careful to rid off the daily duties by 8am as not to agitate unwanted moods. House.. swept, rubbish.. emptied, laundry..done, front.. washed, dogs.. bathed..my atonements, done. Everything seemed pretty fair till 5pm. Kido was summoned for a massage session i only too well myself throughout my childhood. I remember a few elderly people saying you shouldnt ask children to do such things as the pain vibes transfer when done without the protections. But i let it be. Went off to get some cakes from bakery for kiddo and she came along wanting to tow pow some Chinese food. And there were some disgruntle about the schizophrenic aunt goin after the cats she was forced to abandone. I dont see the point of traumatising further an already distraught mental patient with threats of abandonement, sabotage of food and another assistance and not to mention the psychological torture.
Then we return home and suddenly there was an explosion about kiddo finishing her milk powder supply without being replenished which was an utter lie. What does a kid know anyway about replenishing kitchen supply. And sugar and other kitchen stuff being used up for her science projects. I went along with it.. hiked it up even further.. attacks rained down.. . Let's talk her favourite word.. dharma? What dharma is this? And attacks on past surfaced again. Lame. Cheap. Yes. So wat was so humiliating about it when the roof is shared by a straying person who shucks of his domestic duties for other passionate distractions? Oh well.. i miscalculated. For there was a stony silence. I know how this little gem is goin to be presented to the violent aggresive party. I better hv my defences ready.. Nothin is ever presented in the whole truth. Twisted, manipulated.. for own advantage and for the sadistic pleasure of wanting more hurts and damages. So madness can feel at home. When will she come out of her little box of a delusional, paranoid world,.. God knows. But as for me.. I'm done. I just cant take this shit no more. And kiddo doesnt deserve it especially she comes home with a first place in her class despite 12 days of continously high fever only to be called 'brainless fool' for having left the bedroom door open at the risk of letting in a few miserable mosquitoes.. it is just too much for my heart or soul to bear anymore.. it must stop with me.. this abuses and torture.. my kid doesnt deserve it.. i won't tolerate it anymore.. not even in the name of love.. or biological attachments.
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